Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
