Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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