i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
