if only i could text you this smell
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
soo... how was my night?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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