4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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