well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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