Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
