how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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