No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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