Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
