I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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