But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
