I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
