Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
