Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
