3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
