You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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