My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
