So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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