that's an acceptable place to lick
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
