I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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