Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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