$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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