What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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