This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize