DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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