i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
