Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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