ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
