I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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