I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
