We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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