I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
