six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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