she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
