singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
