I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
