OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
