Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
