My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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