you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
