Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize