I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
