And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
