He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
