why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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