I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
