Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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