Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize