He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
