i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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