Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
