if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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