I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
