There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize