I wannas sexs uuuuu
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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