i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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