that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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