Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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