we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
