But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
