people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
