I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize